Chronicles of Tallgrass

Appreciating the Moon - A Spiritual Practice

2012-01-09T21:29:00.002-06:00

My thoughts . . . caught by the moon as I sit by the window. The color like a pale vanilla wafer, it rises slowly, inch by inch above the prairie horizon, turning pasta white above the hills. Higher and higher – lighter and lighter - it goes and glows. The moon shadows were once a surprise. I did not know of them. Now, I anxiously await the austere, black tree forms stretching out from the base of ancient oaks. Ethereal moon beams, traversing the yard, create a mystical passageway from the house to the road. Moving into the midst of the moonlight – a contemplative, enchanted moon-walk.

Appreciating the Prairie - a Spiritual Practice

2012-01-07T11:55:00.003-06:00

     I am a child, maybe five, maybe six. Standing outside my grandparent's home located in the heart of a Flint Hills Kansas pasture, I turn to my left and see the rolling hills of grass, undulating gently in the breeze. It is so BIG!  Waves and waves of grasses, going on and on forever. The color is light brown - autumn or early spring. A slight chill in the air. I feel the breeze that moves the grasses caress my cheeks. I feel love and loved in ways I have yet to know. Touched by so much care and compassion, recognizing something greater present with me, I sigh and allow myself to be held in the gentle power of all that is around me.

     Fifty plus years later, riding on the back of a 4-wheeler in the midst of the Tallgrass Prairie, I am embraced again by Wind. Being in the awesome openness of the prairie, I feel home.  The Child Within again knows love and loving. The Child Within recognizes the power of presence in the tender touch and reminds Adult Me it's safe to be . . . it is safe to be.

     Be still and know that I am. . .

Christmas Eve 2011

2011-12-24T08:04:00.005-06:00

I will be in a church this evening that traditionally has someone sing O Holy Night. I will consider this devotion by Fr. Richard Rohr when I listen. May you also know and feel your worth this Christmas Eve and for all of your life!

THE FEAST BEGINS
Saturday, December 24
     Christmas Eve In 1847, a parish priest in France asked a simple wine merchant in his church if he would compose a poem for the Christmas Mass. He wrote the words to the music that became O Holy Night and will be sung with great solemnity and emotion in many halls and churches throughout the world tonight. It deserves to be.
      I offer this song because of one truly inspired line. It says that when God came among us in the shape and form of Jesus, suddenly "the soul felt its worth!" Yes, that is it! We cannot mirror ourselves; we all must be mirrored by another. When God mirrored us through the entrance, invitation, and eyes of Jesus, the certainty of our redemption was once and for all given and accomplished. In Franciscan eyes, we needed no further blood sacrifice to reveal God's intentions toward us. We were already saved by the gaze from the manger.
     The poet goes on to sing further of "a thrill of hope" and a "new and glorious morn." Again, well said, as poets and musicians so often do! I am sure much of the conscious or unconscious sentiment of this feast is that tonight and tomorrow, on some wonderful level, the soul finally and forever does feel its worth!

O holy night, the stars are brightly shining;
It is the night of the dear Savior’s birth!
Long lay the world in sin and error pining,
Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth. A thrill of hope, the weary soul rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees, O hear the angel voices!
O night divine, O night when Christ was born!
O night, O holy night, O night divine!

Led by the light of faith serenely beaming,
With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand.
So led by light of a star sweetly gleaming,
Here came the wise men from Orient land.
The King of kings lay thus in lowly manger,
In all our trials born to be our Friend!
He knows our need—to our weakness is no stranger.
Behold your King; before Him lowly bend!
Behold your King; before Him lowly bend!

Truly He taught us to love one another;
His law is love and His Gospel is peace.
Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother
And in His Name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
Let all within us praise His holy Name! Christ is the Lord! O praise His name forever!
His pow’r and glory evermore proclaim!
His pow’r and glory evermore proclaim!

SoulCollage® - The Crone

2011-10-31T09:37:00.008-05:00

This is my "Crone" card.

As a newly trained certified SoulCollage® Facilitator, I have a renewed passion for sharing SoulCollage® with other women. I've been offering "Collage from the Soul" retreats based on Seena Frost's intuitive process found in her book SoulCollage® for several years. Now I have the honor of leading events and actually using the SoulCollage® name! Since I completed the training, I've been blessed to lead two retreats, sharing this fun, intuitive and thought-provoking process with others.

SoulCollage® is a process of searching through images (mostly found in magazines) and putting them together in a way that creates a new "picture," a collage, representing some part of the collager's life - internally and externally. At the retreat offered by the church where I serve, a 76 year old participant said, "Billie, if I hadn't been responsible for cooking breakfast for the group today, I probably wouldn't have come. I didn't understand what SoulCollage® was about. I found it very meaningful now that I've experienced it and I'm so glad I came!" Another woman was pleased I allowed them hands-on experience, saying, "Too often I go to workshops and I'm told how to do different things, but I don't get to try them. Thank you for allowing us to actually do this process!"

My Crone card speaks to me, saying, "I am one who is wise in years and experience. I am one who draws on the moon and the owl for wisdom and clarity. I am one who lives with the darkness and with the light, comfortable in the knowing and in the mystery of life."

The Cricket

2011-10-20T09:39:00.004-05:00

     Walking between the Bunkhouse and the Main House, I look down to see this humongous grasshopper at my feet. My thought: "Hope that doesn't jump on my pant leg!"
     Going into the office, I sit down at my computer and a few moments later hear hear this clicking noise to my right. In the windowsill next to me there's this gigantic hopper jumping up and down against the window.
     "Oh, drat! It did jump on my pant leg! What do I do now?! It's too big to hit with a shoe, " I thought, thinking of the potential messy mess.
     From the kitchen I retrieve a trusty Glad container, lid and all to catch the menace. I put the container over the grasshopper which caused it to jump up and down - hard. It was BIG and strong! I could feel it hitting against the bottom of the upside down container!
     "If I slide the plastic container to the edge of the window sill so I can slide the not-flat-lid under it to contain the grasshopper, it might get away. Looking around my office I spy an old Kansas license tag I kept - the first one ever I bought all by myself. I grab it, lift the container slightly to slip the car tag under the container. I move it gently so as not to harm the hopper. I need him to jump on to the license plate - and he does! WooHoo!
     I set the container firmly on the license tag and quickly march to the front door to toss the rascal out into the front yard. He (notice I'm calling it a "he" for surely a"she" would have left me alone!) looks a little stunned from all that throwing himself against the plastic Glad container. I turn to leave just as he gets up, shakes his head - the best a grasshopper can shake his head - and hops off.

Do Not "Should" on Yourself"

2011-10-14T11:01:00.005-05:00

"We should notice that we are already supported at every moment. There is the earth below our feet and there is the air, filling our lungs and emptying them. We should begin from this when we need support. ~ Natalie Goldberg in Writing Down the Bones

     This quote came in my inbox this morning. "Great quote," I thought. Then I looked again. I've learned from the Nonviolent Communication folks that "should" is one of the most violent words in the English language. When we "should" on ourselves, we create little more than guilt. When we "should" on others, we create judgment and lack of acceptance.
     For many years I had a sign that read "I will not should on myself today" hanging on my fridge as a reminder to be gentle to myself - and others. With apologies to Ms. Goldberg, I rewrite her statement to read: "We can notice that we are already supported at every moment. There is the earth below our feet and there is the air, filling our lungs and emptying them. We can begin from this when we need support."

     Do you need a note on your fridge that says "I will not should on myself today?"

"What I want in my life is compassion, a flow between myself and others based on a mutual giving from the heart." ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg in Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Compassion

2010-01-29T12:11:00.005-06:00

The Give One - Get One Matching Funds Challenge of October-December, 2009 was a great success! The Center raised the $5,000 needed for the matching funds donaiton, plus another $3,000. The Center has been in ministry to women for 8.5 years now and is still going strong! Thank you to all the wonderful supporters of Tallgrass Spiritual Retreat Center. Check out what's happening at the Center in 2010 on the website's calendar.

2009-10-22T11:26:00.006-05:00

WooHoo! A generous supporter of Tallgrass Spiritual Retreat Center has challenged us with a Give One - Get One offer. For every dollar given to the Retreat Center between now and Dec. 31, 2009, this caring supporter will give a matching dollar to the Center up to $5,000! What a great gift!

Now . . . now . . . it's time for those of you who love Tallgrass, who love to come out here in the quiet of the hills, for those of you who haven't yet been able to come but l believe in this ministry anyway, it's time for you to realize in a specific way how you can keep Tallgrass Spiritual Retreat Center on the Homestead Ranch.

Read stories from women who have been to Tallgrass and had meaningful experiences at www.tallgrassretreats.com/GiveOne_GetOne.html

2009-10-13T12:28:00.002-05:00

I watched Ghost Whisperer tonight night and am surprised that I feel a little unsettled afterwards. I really enjoy that show. This one was a little scarier than usual, though! I go into my office about 10:30 and as I sit at the computer, I suddenly hear a movement on the other side of the bookcases. I'm not scared; I'm still "unsettled." After several minutes, I hear it again - a rustling, low, towards the floor. I quietly get up and move towards the aisle between bookcases along the wall and bookcases on the other side of the desk area. I peek around the corner - and there it is, running for cover - a MOUSE! A healthy looking mouse! It runs north towards the window wall under some stuff laying on the floor - a reason to be just a little frustrated with myself for not having the floor completely cleared of "stuff."

I immediately go out to the kitchen to get a piece of red-colored mouse bait I had out there, a leftover piece that had evidently done its work on another mouse. Coming back to the office, I set the mouse bait on the floor near the "stuff" and go back to the computer. A few minutes later, I hear rustling again. I wait a few more minutes, then get up to look. I want to know if the mouse is tempted by the bait. It's not only interested in it, it tried to take the whole piece (about one quarter the size of the mouse!) "home!" The bait is now laying across the top of a black bag containing a video camera and equipment that were donated to the retreat center. I knock the bag over to see if the mouse runs out from it. It doesn't. If it's in there, it's not moving. The red mouse bait falls on the floor, as well as pieces of green mouse bait I'd had in the pantry that fall out of the bag, too! Oh, my!! The mouse has been living there for a while, I guess.

I sit down again at the computer, wondering what I can do, how I am going to get rid of this creature. I not trusting the bait! I'm watching YouTube videos of Taylor Hicks (5th season winner on American Idol whom I'd just discovered for myself the day before) which are keeping my spirits lifted. I hear rustling again, then later again. How can I get rid of this thing TONIGHT I wonder?!?!? If it gets in the bag again, am I quick enough to close the bag and carry it outside? Can I be quick enough AND can I close it tight enough?!?!? I sure don't want the mouse jumping out and running up my arm - which seems a real possibility - the drawstring on the bag doesn't close tight, I'm thinking!

So . . . I hear it moving again and get up to look. I think I see movement. It's SO quick. Im not for sure. It's just barely a flash of gray movement into a box of old ceramic tiles I have in the office on the floor - part of the "stuff." I decide to BELIEVE in myself, to believe that I REALLY saw the mouse jump into that box. The box has a lid on it that's pulled away at one corner - where and how the mouse got into the box. Thinking as quickly as a 59 year old brain can think, I put a flat, suede presentation folder over the offending opening and run to the kitchen for a plastic bag. The quickly-devised plan is to put the box in a plastic bag - and then decide what else to do. At least I will have the critter contained.

This bag idea is not as easy as I think it is. First of all, the trash bag is only big enough to cover one half of the box. Second, the box contains old ceramic tiles which are VERY heavy! I can't get my hands under the box to lift it up and scoot the box into the bag - at least not easily. I AM determined, though! There is a tube of liquid nails laying by the box (I intend to put wooden backs o the ceramic tiles with the liquid nails and then draw on the front side of the tiles). I am able to slip the point of the tube under the box enough to get my hands underneath, lifting the box enough to slide the bag along the underneath side - constantly aware that the mouse could jump out at me!

But the bag is only half as long as I need. Repeating my trip to the kitchen, I grab another trash bag and work to slip it over the other end of the box, using the tube of liquid nails once again. Ah Ha! The mouse is contained - I hope! BUT . . . but . . . .the bags are merely overlapping - there is plenty of space from which the mouse could flee, so back to the kitchen I go to get the masking tape, thinking, "I wish I had duct tape - it's stronger!" I tape the bags together around three of the four sides - I cannot get tape under the box - it is just too heavy.

I step back to admire my makeshift mousetrap. hoping that darn critter is really in there. I am no for sure. OK, so now what? What does one do with a possible mouse caught and sealed in a box of very heavy ceramic tiles??? If I leave the box overnight, hoping the mouse will suffocate inside the trap (yes, I am hoping that the warning on the side of the bag not to let little children play with plastic bags because they could suffocate will WORK just that way with this mouse) I wonder if the mouse can eat itself out of the box and the bag before death-by-plastic bag can happen. There seems to be a lot of air puffing out the sides of my trap.

OK, OK, so now feeling like a murderer hiding her deed-of-death in a rolled up carpet or antique trunk, only my choice of secrecy is a very heavy box of tiles, I drag and push and shove that very heavy box of tiles through the house, down the hallway, through the living room and out to the front door. The threshold at the front door becomes a problem! First, I have to remove the throw rug laying at the door, then I discover that the box cannot be shove over the threshold - there is too much of a "hump" at the door. I am going to have to lift the very heavy box to actually get it out of doors. Oh my . . . oh, my . . . oh, my aching back! I know, though, that I do NOT want to find that the mouse had gotten out in the living room the next morning!

OK, so I lean over and, carefully, using my legs and not just my back, I lift the very heavy box of tiles over the threshold and sit it down immediately on the other side of the open storm door. Hmmm . . . not too smart to let the mouse-I-hope-is-in-the-box out right in front of the open door - it might run back in the house where it is warm! So, I shove and push and heave the box out to the middle of the front porch, so I am able to close the front door, and, also, so I have room to get myself out of the way quick, if/when the hoped-for-mouse hops out.

Next, as I pull off the tape, I start thinking, "I'm going to feel really silly if there's no mouse in here! At least no one's going to see me doing this at midnight on the front porch out here in the bonies!" I pull off the tape and, still not being able to get my hands under the very heavy box, I decide to tip the box over with my knee, allowing the partially opened box top to lay on the floor of the porch, hopefully, an easy get-away for the mouse. As I pull back the plastic, THE MOUSE JUMPS OUT OF THE BAG! Fortunately, it heads for the stairs away from me! In one grand leap it makes it from the box to the top of the stairs and, because it is moving so fast, I'm not for sure about this, but it looks like a "Supermouse" as it bounds from the steps to the ground in one giant leap, totally skipping the steps on its way down.

I do not know how to express the relief I feel! It's I win the battle of the mouse - and the mouse wins, too! WooHoo!

This is the second mouse I've rescued in my years here. The first one I saved from a pail of water sitting outside the back door. That was hard to do. I could have easily walked away and let the mouse drown in the bucket, but not really, I guess. I couldn't get the look in those beady, pleading, little black eyes out of my mind as it mouse-paddled around the pail, trying to get out. I do not want to become known in the Mouse World as The Rescuer! I'll stay out of their world, if they'll stay out of mine!

Body and Soul

2009-09-14T15:14:00.007-05:00

What an incredible event we had this past weekend at Tallgrass Spiritual Retreat Center! Body and Soul offered SoulCollage by Hazel Hutchinson (see www.ArtEnSoulCollage.com) and Healing Touch by (Mindy Graham). The weather was perfect. The energy at the Center was . . . well, energizing and the women present were delightful, open, responsive, and eager to be here and to participate. As the retreat center's director, greeter, housekeeper, cook, dishwasher, fire starter and anything else you can think of, I worked hard this weekend! And it was all worth it to see this group of women bond, work together, learn about themselves, sing and play drums around the campfire, and just grow in the Spirit! Delightful. Rewarding. Important.

This coming Friday brings 10 Billion Beats - an experiment in global intention. Carlisle, Salina, KS, had the idea to have folks drumming for one hour on Sat Sept, 18 from 7-8 o'clock - all around the globe! The intention of the drumming is peace to the world. Folks, women, men and children have been invited through newspaper articles and emails to come join us for a potluck at 5:45, drumming from 7-8 and time around the campfire at 8. Read more at
10 Billion Beats

We're also looking towards September 25-26 for Sacred Desire with Drs. Nancy Morrison and Sally Severino from NM as they share about their new book, Sacred Desire. Read more at SacredDesire

And then in October 16-17 Jeff Hansen, Topeka, will be here to teach women how to make paper from prairie plants. Papermaking with Prairie Plants

I LOVE bringing women together, watch them grow and share and leave not wanting to leave, knowing they will return and find themselves, others and God in new ways, in new faces.

With you in Godde's holy embrace,
Billie
Pastor in the Pasture

It's August!

2009-08-17T18:19:00.003-05:00

How did it get to be August? Guess it comes after July every year, eh? It's been a slow summer and spring and late winter here at Tallgrass. I keep reminding folks that women give up self-care first when money gets tight. There have been some great facilitators lined up for retreat here that were cancelled - BUT there are still more to come!

The end of the month brings Mary Anne Thurber down from Wisconsin to lead C.O.P. - Class on Personal Safety. Mary Anne is a long-time police officer on the force in Madison, WI. Mary Anne is certain that a retreat like C.O.P.S. doesn't belong at a retreat center while I'm certain women want to learn about keeping their physical bodies as safe as their spiritual bodies! I just need some women to sign up and show her! C.O.P.S. is scheduled for Thurday, August 27 (9:30am-3:30pm) and the fee is $40 for th eday, including lunch.

On Friday and Saturday, August 28-29, Jan Jantzen is scheduled to to do "Horse Sense: What a Horse Can Teach Me about Me."

2009-05-15T08:13:00.005-05:00

It's May 15 - less than a month until the first-ever fundraiser for Tallgrass Spiritual Retreat Center. This event has been in the planning since October 2008. Hmmm . . .it's a little like being pregnant and we're in the eigth month now! There are some questions and doubt about this - just like with a pregnancy. What if no one comes? What if I forget someone's name? What if? What if? There's a great deal of joy and expectation, as well! People have been so generous in their giving for the basket auction! It's so cool to have Celia Whitler coming to perform for us! Soon, oh, so soon, we(the Board of Directors and I, my family and close friends) will have brought into life a new entity called Tallgrass Treasures and Tennessee Tunes. What fun! Good music, fun baskets and apple pie! What more could a "mom" ask for?!? See what I'm talking about at www.tallgrassretreats.com/TallgrassTreasures-TennesseeTunes.html and then, please, come join us for the evening!

2009-04-07T21:01:00.004-05:00

Back in December I was asking people to pray for a plumber. Well, Tallgrass Spiritual Retreat Center got EIGHT men willing and capable of doing the plumbing work! They were all members of Volunteers in Ministry, an organization of the Kansas West Conference of the United Methodist Church. The team was headed up by Marlin Brown from Wichita, Kansas. They came from eight different places around the area in late January to replace three shower faucets, a lavatory faucet and a kitchen sink faucet. It was not a simple job. They had to cut into the drywall in the walls behind all three showers to do the replacements and then patch all the holes they had cut. One replacement involved removing and replacing ceramic tiles. Marlin estimated four days to complete the job. They were done much sooner than that and did a wonderful job! There were a number of other smaller jobs around the retreat center they completed, as well, including caulking a window, repairing a screen door, replacing siding on the Bunkhouse, and more. Thanks to these good men for their servant hearts. Plus . . . they tell me they'll come back and bring their wives and do even more work for the center! WooHoo!

T4

2008-12-04T02:16:00.003-06:00

More exciting news is happening at Tallgrass Spiritual Retreat Center! We're planninng Tallgrass Treasures and Tennessee Tunes, a silent auction and concert benefitting the retreat center on June 13, 2009 at College Hill United Methodist Church in Wichita. Celia Whitler, a singer/song writer from Tennessee will provide the "Tunes." The "Treasures" will be found at the silent auction, happening the same evening. There will be theme baskets from Arizona, New Mexico, South Carolina and North Carolina, as well as Wisconsin cheese. There are autographed books from various authors, including Billie Jean King (from one Billie Jean to another Billie Jean), Patrice Karst (God Made Easy), Liz Curtis Higgs, and more! We have a potter and a painter and a fabric artist all donating artwork. Gov. Sebelius donated an autographed 2007 commemorative inagural book and a blue tile with the Great Seal of Kansas on it. There will be Coca Cola collectibles and two nights lodging at Mt. Sequoya at Fayetteville, Arkansas, as well as other fun places to stay. Mark your calendars for June 13, 2009 and watch for more information!

Blessings, Billie

The Truck!

2008-12-04T01:50:00.004-06:00

The great news of late is, of course, the retreat center's new truck! An email was sent out to Tallgrass supporters on a Friday that there was a need for a truck and by Monday the center received the donation of a 2000 Dodge Dakota Quad Cab truck with only 62,000 miles on it! Four days! It took only four days! It was really exciting around here that weekend. That email prayer request generated more email responses than anything I've ever sent out. Women were praying for the center to get a new truck. Women were sending the email on to farmer friends in hopes they might know of a truck. A friend in WI said if she had a truck she would drive it to my front door and hand me the keys. She didn't have a truck though! My daughter's farmer father-in-law looked all around SW Kansas for a truck. Women were including this request in Sunday morning's "Prayers of the People" in church or making sure it got in the church bulletin or newsletter.

I picked up the truck on Tuesday morning in Manhattan. Well, I kind of picked it up. I rode with the donor, but had forgotten my driver's license, so I was unable to legally drive it home! As soon as I was home alone with it, I took it for a peaceful drive out on the prairie. It was wonderful!

Even more wonderful have been the responses since I sent the follow-up email, telling folks about the truck. Emails have poured in, praising God, offering congratulations, and oohing and aahing over pictures of the truck. :-) It's like the center's acquisition of this truck is a reminder to folks that God is still present in prayers. So . . . now I'm asking for prayers for a plumber!

Blessings, Billie

Looking to 2009 at Tallgrass!

2008-12-04T00:19:00.001-06:00

It's late this evening in December. Almost 12:30 a.m. I've spent the day working on two websites I manage and am too tired to work on the site for Tallgrass Spiritual Retreat Center. It's time to be getting it up and running for 2009, showing all the intresting retreats being offered, like Horse Sense: What a Horse Can Teach Me About Me where we'll go visit Jan Jantzen's ranch and handle the horses. There's Soul Strings where RoJean Loucks, Salina, will bring small harps for us to play - just for fun, not for the experts! MaryAnne Thurber, a police officer from Madison WI will come lead C.O.P.S. (Class on Personal Safety) to teach women how to be safe at home, in the car and out in public. Hazel Hutchinson and Mindy Graham will lead Body and Soul, a retreat combining the SoulCollage process as taught by Seena Frost and Healing Touch. Cheryl Miller, Lawrence, will facilitate Harmonious Home to teach women how to find organization and peace in their homes. Sacred Poetry and DreamPower will both be led by Dr. Mary Jo Grant and there's even more! Hopefully, I'll have the website updated by mid-December, then you go check out the retreat schedule for your self at www.tallgrassretreats.com/Retreat_Schedule-09.html

Blessings for the night, Billie