Deuce and the owls

The animal of the day was a mule. Deuce to be exact. She was born in the pasture across the road, so I’ve “known” her all of her life. Sometimes she comes to the fence to greet me, but it’s not like we’re old friends.  No, I think I’m just a curiosity to her. 

I pulled into the drive to be greeted by Deuce standing in the middle of the drive. I rolled my window down and she came right towards me, the truck and the open window. Now, I’m a little intimidated by her – she’s SO big.  So I rolled the widow up so she wouldn’t stick her nose in the window which I think she would have done! I inched the truck forward and she moved. I pulled into the parking space in front of the Bunkhouse. I could see Deuce in the rear view mirror as she came across the drive and stopped right at my door. I was just laughing. This was so delightful to me. Here I was trapped by her and it was getting hot in the truck! I pulled on the door handle and the noise startled her enough to move out of my way. She walked to the north end of the Bunkhouse and started nibbling at the solar lights I have along the ramp. At one point I thought she took one in her mouth and walked off with it. 

Deuce walked around the Bunkhouse and came to the south side of the building. Loaded down with stuff from the truck, I stopped a moment, wondering what she would do if I stood on the Bunkhouse walk by the front door. So I climbed the 3 steps and, lo and behold, she walked back over to me. We stood there together for a few minutes and I talked gently with her. Again I was getting hot and, thankfully, she moved away so I could get to the back door of the Main House. I was fascinated by her presence, so after calling Jess, her owner, to let him know she was out, I grabbed the camera and went back out to the deck.  I went to the east side and . . . there she came towards me again. She came right up to the deck and pawed on the ground a little and then stuck her nose right through the deck railing.  She had to turn her head sideways to get her nose in there – and she kept doing it! I just chuckled with delight. I was not able to reach out and touch her. Still too intimidated by her size and the unknown. She was much braver than I!

She kept sticking her nose through the railing and sniffing at me. At one point she went around to the north side of the deck (where the steps up to the deck are located) and I followed her. She again pawed lightly at the ground and, I’m telling ya, it looked like she wanted to come right up the steps! I moved back behind the porch railing and she followed me over there. I walked along the deck railing and she followed me. She never acted this friendly towards me or this curious about me in the past. We’ve been outside together before – never this close. She walked around, showing me all sides of her and each time she would come back to the edge of the deck and stick her nose through. We’d been there together about 20 minutes when she saw her sister, Traveler, across the road and started running in that direction.  She only went as far as the big tree east of the Main House and directly across from my office window. She seemed to appreciate the shade! I decided to go in and watch her from my office. By the time I got to the office, she was gone. I went to the front door and looked out. Jess had come along in his big red truck and she followed him home. It was an incredible experience for me. I didn’t DO anything for her to pay that much attention to me!

I never was comfortable with animals because my family didn’t have any house pets when I was a kid. I’m the one the cats and dogs want to sit with when I go to see friends, though. Once a huge golden retriever took it upon herself to share a love seat with me and put her head in my lap!

A final note – I went out last night, hoping my owl friend from the night before would be there. I didn’t see her. I prayed for a bit, then looked to the fence across the drive and there was a larger-than-last-night’s owl sitting on the fence. I walked to the end of the sidewalk to get a little closer look, when another owl flew up off the ground pretty close to me and landed on the bird feeder in the Main House yard. It sat there looking around and suddenly saw me. It moved it’s head, looking closer at me like it was trying to figure out what I was.  It looked around again, then back at me and cocked its head 2-3 times, like it wondered what I was doing there. It sat there a little longer, then flew up to the top of the electric pole across the driveway. The big owl on the fence sat there through all this. Both owls flew to where I was unable to see them shortly afterwards.
This is all so incredible to me!  I love interacting with the animals like this!

Appreciating the Moon - A Spiritual Practice

My thoughts . . . caught by the moon as I sit by the window.  The color like a pale vanilla wafer, it rises slowly, inch by inch above the prairie horizon, turning pasta white above the hills. Higher and higher – lighter and lighter - it goes and glows. The moon shadows were once a surprise. I did not know of them.  Now, I anxiously await the austere, black tree forms stretching out from the base of ancient oaks.  Ethereal moon beams, traversing the yard, create a mystical passageway from the house to the road.  Moving into the midst of the moonlight – a contemplative, enchanted moon-walk.

Appreciating the Prairie - a Spiritual Practice

     I am a child, maybe five, maybe six.  Standing outside my grandparent's home located in the heart of a Flint Hills Kansas pasture, I turn to my left and see the rolling hills of grass, undulating gently in the breeze. It is so BIG!  Waves and waves of grasses, going on and on forever.  The color is light brown - autumn or early spring. A slight chill in the air.  I feel the breeze that moves the grasses caress my cheeks. I feel love and loved in ways I have yet to know.  Touched by so much care and compassion, recognizing something greater present with me, I sigh and allow myself to be held in the gentle power of all that is around me. 

     Fifty plus years later, riding on the back of a 4-wheeler in the midst of the Tallgrass Prairie, I am embraced again by Wind.  Being in the awesome openness of the prairie, I feel home.  The Child Within again knows love and loving.  The Child Within recognizes the power of presence in the tender touch and reminds Adult Me it's safe to be . . . it is safe to be. 
    
     Be still and know that I am. . .

Christmas Eve 2011

     I will be in a church this evening that traditionally has someone sing O Holy Night. I will consider this devotion by Fr. Richard Rohr when I listen. May you also know and feel your worth this Christmas Eve and for all of your life! 

 THE FEAST BEGINS
Saturday, December 24
     Christmas Eve  In 1847, a parish priest in France asked a simple wine merchant in his church if he would compose a poem for the Christmas Mass. He wrote the words to the music that became O Holy Night and will be sung with great solemnity and emotion in many halls and churches throughout the world tonight. It deserves to be.
      I offer this song because of one truly inspired line. It says that when God came among us in the shape and form of Jesus, suddenly "the soul felt its worth!" Yes, that is it! We cannot mirror ourselves; we all must be mirrored by another. When God mirrored us through the entrance, invitation, and eyes of Jesus, the certainty of our redemption was once and for all given and accomplished. In Franciscan eyes, we needed no further blood sacrifice to reveal God's intentions toward us. We were already saved by the gaze from the manger.      
     The poet goes on to sing further of "a thrill of hope" and a "new and glorious morn." Again, well said, as poets and musicians so often do! I am sure much of the conscious or unconscious sentiment of this feast is that tonight and tomorrow, on some wonderful level, the soul finally and forever does feel its worth!

O holy night, the stars are brightly shining;
It is the night of the dear Savior’s birth!
Long lay the world in sin and error pining,
Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth. A thrill of hope, the weary soul rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees, O hear the angel voices!
O night divine, O night when Christ was born!
O night, O holy night, O night divine!

Led by the light of faith serenely beaming,
With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand.
So led by light of a star sweetly gleaming,
Here came the wise men from Orient land.
The King of kings lay thus in lowly manger,
In all our trials born to be our Friend!
He knows our need—to our weakness is no stranger.
Behold your King; before Him lowly bend!
Behold your King; before Him lowly bend!

Truly He taught us to love one another;
His law is love and His Gospel is peace.
Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother
And in His Name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
Let all within us praise His holy Name! Christ is the Lord! O praise His name forever!
His pow’r and glory evermore proclaim!
His pow’r and glory evermore proclaim!

SoulCollage® - The Crone

This is my "Crone" card.

As a newly trained certified SoulCollage® Facilitator, I have a renewed passion for sharing SoulCollage® with other women. I've been offering "Collage from the Soul" retreats based on Seena Frost's intuitive process found in her book SoulCollage® for several years. Now I have the honor of leading events and actually using the SoulCollage® name! Since I completed the training, I've been blessed to lead two retreats, sharing this fun, intuitive and thought-provoking process with others.

SoulCollage® is a process of searching through images (mostly found in magazines) and putting them together in a way that creates a new "picture," a collage, representing some part of the collager's life - internally and externally. At the retreat offered by the church where I serve, a 76 year old participant said, "Billie, if I hadn't been responsible for cooking breakfast for the group today, I probably wouldn't have come. I didn't understand what SoulCollage® was about. I found it very meaningful now that I've experienced it and I'm so glad I came!" Another woman was pleased I allowed them hands-on experience, saying, "Too often I go to workshops and I'm told how to do different things, but I don't get to try them. Thank you for allowing us to actually do this process!"

      My Crone card speaks to me, saying, "I am one who is wise in years and experience. I am one who draws on the moon and the owl for wisdom and clarity. I am one who lives with the darkness and with the light, comfortable in the knowing and in the mystery of life."

The Cricket

     Walking between the Bunkhouse and the Main House, I look down to see this humongous grasshopper at my feet. My thought: "Hope that doesn't jump on my pant leg!" 
     Going into the office, I sit down at my computer and a few moments later hear hear this clicking noise to my right. In the windowsill next to me there's this gigantic hopper jumping up and down against the window. 
     "Oh, drat! It did jump on my pant leg! What do I do now?! It's too big to hit with a shoe, " I thought, thinking of the potential messy mess. 
     From the kitchen I retrieve a trusty Glad container, lid and all to catch the menace. I put the container over the grasshopper which caused it to jump up and down - hard. It was BIG and strong! I could feel it hitting against the bottom of the upside down container! 
     "If I slide the plastic container to the edge of the window sill so I can slide the not-flat-lid under it to contain the grasshopper, it might get away. Looking around my office I spy an old Kansas license tag I kept - the first one ever I bought all by myself. I grab it, lift the container slightly to slip the car tag under the container. I move it gently so as not to harm the hopper. I need him to jump on to the license plate - and he does! WooHoo!   
     I set the container firmly on the license tag and quickly march to the front door to toss the rascal out into the front yard. He (notice I'm calling it a "he" for surely a"she" would have left me alone!) looks a little stunned from all that throwing himself against the plastic Glad container. I turn to leave just as he gets up, shakes his head - the best a grasshopper can shake his head - and hops off.

Do Not "Should" on Yourself"

"We should notice that we are already supported at every moment. There is the earth below our feet and there is the air, filling our lungs and emptying them. We should begin from this when we need support.      ~ Natalie Goldberg in Writing Down the Bones

     This quote came in my inbox this morning. "Great quote," I thought. Then I looked again. I've learned from the Nonviolent Communication folks that "should" is one of the most violent words in the English language. When we "should" on ourselves, we create little more than guilt. When we "should" on others, we create judgment and lack of acceptance.
     For many years I had a sign that read "I will not should on myself today" hanging on my fridge as a reminder to be gentle to myself - and others. With apologies to Ms. Goldberg, I rewrite her statement to read: "We can notice that we are already supported at every moment. There is the earth below our feet and there is the air, filling our lungs and emptying them. We can begin from this when we need support." 
    
     Do you need a note on your fridge that says "I will not should on myself today?"

"What I want in my life is compassion, a flow between myself and others based on a mutual giving from the heart."   ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg in Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Compassion