Do Not "Should" on Yourself"

"We should notice that we are already supported at every moment. There is the earth below our feet and there is the air, filling our lungs and emptying them. We should begin from this when we need support.      ~ Natalie Goldberg in Writing Down the Bones

     This quote came in my inbox this morning. "Great quote," I thought. Then I looked again. I've learned from the Nonviolent Communication folks that "should" is one of the most violent words in the English language. When we "should" on ourselves, we create little more than guilt. When we "should" on others, we create judgment and lack of acceptance.
     For many years I had a sign that read "I will not should on myself today" hanging on my fridge as a reminder to be gentle to myself - and others. With apologies to Ms. Goldberg, I rewrite her statement to read: "We can notice that we are already supported at every moment. There is the earth below our feet and there is the air, filling our lungs and emptying them. We can begin from this when we need support." 
    
     Do you need a note on your fridge that says "I will not should on myself today?"

"What I want in my life is compassion, a flow between myself and others based on a mutual giving from the heart."   ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg in Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Compassion